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October 2009 
Where do your answers come from?
Posted on Sep 9th, 2009
by 
will
will
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for September 09, 2009:
I have discovered in moments of solitude that the conversation that goes on between my ears is a chatter from voices past. If I listen closely I can identify the source of that chatter, be it my parents, my relatives, my teachers, my mentors, and friends etc., even books that I have read have a voice that express themselves randomly. As for answers to questions that pertain to a present moment I tend to discard answers that exist from the past and are a product of my social programming and seek an answer that provides vitality and aliveness and adventure in the present moment that has the possibility of producing the desired result.
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Okay … I get identifying the voices of the past as not being you, but if you know the desired result does it matter whose voice gives you the answer?
Barbara,Yes, it does matter! When I have a goal or a desired result in mind I can act with spontaneity relying on my metaphysical nature and instinctual survival system to reach my goal, or I can search my mind for options and opinions, which are of the past to guide me in the present that perpetuate and validate the saying; “that the more things change, the more they remain the same.”. That’s like being lost in Rome and searching my mind or solutions by conjuring up a map system for London to guide me out of my predicament in Rome.—————-.I don’t know about you, but most of my upbringing and education inculcated the notion that I must be different from what I am. It was proper at that time not to have self-esteem, it was tempered out of us by telling us what we should, or should not do, what we should or shouldn’t say or think. Society is an unconscious conspiracy against supporting, encouraging the individual to be self-reliant. Education is the processes of making an individual conform to a standard, or an ideal and become a selfless shell spending the rest of their life searching for themselves. So yes, it does matter. Living for me in the present requires spontaneity that is supported with confidence and aplomb creating a life, rather than repeating or doing re-runs.
Hmmm … okay, I think I see your differentiation. I, too, am currently identifying voices of the past as a part of my programming (me vs. not me). Am I acting out of my own wisdom or some programmed response? The repetition and re-runs for me I have labelled: Groundhog Day (similar to the movie that Bill Murray starred in years ago). I keep growing and moving ahead in my being and my presence in life, but I find myself caught up in situations where others are simply repeating the same scenarios over and over and over again. My dilemma: do I try to as Bill did and create something that will bump everyone out of Groundhog Day or or do I just leave the movie?
I’m not familiar with Groundhog Day, but trying to duplicate something is an imitation which is always at best second to the original. Most of us have been brainwashed perhaps not intentionally, but none the less, not to trust ourselves, to think of ourselves less than, to duplicate and imitate someone’s ideal or concept. For me, I know two things, 1. Either I’m happy or, 2. I’m not happy, which leaves me the option of taking action or not. The actions that I take can be one of two possibilities, either self generated for the remedy or taken second handedly for safety and conformity in hopes of remedy. Talking about it is easy, but arduous to implement after so many years of repetitive patterns. I also know this, if it’s from the mind, it’s an old recording, because the mind (my mind) contains only the past from which it can project into the future, creating only more of the same.